It’s All About Perspective: How an Epic Spill Reminded Me How Important the Right Perspective Is

“There’s no use crying over spilled milk.” The common saying is supposed to be a reminder to not fret over something that’s already happened or can’t be changed. To not sweat the small stuff. The logic is solid. What use is getting upset over something as minor in the grand scheme as spilling liquid that is cleaned up easily enough? But what if the spilled item is something that scatters even more far and wide, such as Cheerios or peppercorns—or something even smaller? Does the logic hold?

My daughter gets up early every morning to make herself a smoothie chock-full of healthy goodness: protein powder, spinach or kale, a banana, PB2, a handful of frozen fruit, some almond milk, and chia seeds. Have you ever seen those little buggers? They’re tiny, like around the same size as poppy seeds! (And, in case you’re wondering, yes, they’re the same seeds from the fabulous Chia Pets of yesteryear. “Ch-ch-ch-chia!”) Little Bit uses them every day, so when we saw a three-pound bag available at Costco, it was a no-brainer to toss it into our overflowing cart.

Maybe this hasn’t been your experience, but I’ve found lately that resealable packages of food items equipped with a zip-top are not the most reliable. Routinely, those little zippers just don’t align well, or the zipper pulls away from one side, rendering the bag UN-resealable. This is what happened to our jumbo bag of chia seeds a few days ago, and you might guess the result: about a pound of chia seeds dumped out into our pantry. Oh, and did I mention our pantry boasts wire shelving, providing the perfect opportunity for a waterfall effect? Good times.

I returned home from my early morning workout to Little Bit standing paralyzed in our kitchen, fighting tears. She was mad at herself for the accident but was more afraid I was going to be upset with her. She told me she was worried I’d be mad that all the bins and baskets beneath the shelf of smoothie ingredients were full of rogue chia seeds. This is one of those moments as a parent when I did a mental face palm. How many times over her nearly 15 years of life had I gotten mad over something equivalent to spilled milk or scattered chia seeds? I’m ashamed to say, probably way more than I’m comfortable with.

As a type-A, struggling perfectionist with a desire-to-control bent, I do not like spontaneity, mess, or chaos. I was the mean mom who rarely let my kids play with play-doh or use paint and never allowed glitter into our home. Because of this aversion to disarray, our kids have seen me upset or mad about messes or spills more than a few times over the years.

One of the family pastors at our church back in Texas said often, “God’s grace covers a multitude of parenting mistakes.” Thank God. Literally! Memorizing scripture, taking a moment to breathe and pray before responding, and checking my perspective—mainly, reminding myself that they’re just kids and kids make messes and mistakes—when I had the urge to lose my temper are all practices that helped me soften my response to frustrations or unexpected challenges.

Reminding myself that one of my most important jobs as a parent is to teach our kids to function independently and become responsible, contributing members of society, I have to stop and ask myself when I’m sweating the small stuff, what am I modeling for them? The Bible gives us numerous reminders of how we are to go about our lives. Here are just a few:

• “If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small.” (Proverbs 24:10 NLT) Ouch!
• “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that no one can criticize you.” (Philippians 2:14-15 NLT)
• “Everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken” (Matthew 12:36 NIV) Yikes!
• “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV)

By shifting my focus from what I am frustrated with or want to complain about to counting my blessings, my perspective changes—almost immediately. Thankfully, in the season our family is walking through right now, I have become an even calmer, more patient and understanding version of myself. With Big Kid ramping up for his next life adventure (more on that at a later date), and my husband and I facing the waning years of having kids in our home—as Little Bit will undoubtedly zoom through high school—I desire more every day to make an effort to cherish each moment I get to have with my babies. And I want to be sure and give thanks for every bit of time I have with them.

When they’re very young, it’s easy to forget that our children are only on loan to us for a very short time. The cliché is trite, but true: time goes by exponentially faster the older our kids grow. I want to hold our kids a little tighter these days, just when they’re pulling away as they mature and learn to manage their own lives. So until they leave our nest, I am working hard to make every moment together count and impress upon them just how loved they are.

Back to the chia seeds disaster… I didn’t hesitate one moment. The habit of counting my blessings reminded me immediately that I won’t have the joy of walking in and seeing my girl in the kitchen for too many more years. I gave Little Bit a hug and insisted she not worry about it. I assured her it was no big deal and that I would clean it up after we got her to school. Reminding her how I’d been grumbling about the need to clean out and reorganize our pantry, I insisted she did me a favor because now I could no longer put it off. She was so relieved and grateful for my response. But I was grateful for her and her sweet, unintentional reminder that each moment I have an opportunity to choose my perspective and how I respond to spilled milk.

How do you respond to the “spilled milk” moments in your life? How are you at counting your blessings or shifting your perspective?