Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is hard sometimes. I mean, it’s work. During some seasons, we’re running around with our hair on fire, and it’s difficult to slow down and remember all the good that surrounds us. I find that to be especially true during the holiday season, which ironically kicks off with Thanksgiving.
I used to be pretty good at helping our kids cultivate a posture of gratitude. If one of them was stuck in a pattern of negativity, I was quick to respond. “I know you’re unhappy/disappointed/fill-in-the-blank about XYZ, but tell me three (or sometimes five) things you’re grateful for right now.” Eye rolling usually ensued, but the offender would ponder and count out the required blessings. They knew I would never accept a thoughtless, pat answer, but really expected their list to be genuine. And by the end of their list, most times, gratitude had worked its magic. If by chance it didn’t, they often received the privilege of coming up with more things to add to their list.
But lately, I’m the one who needs to recount blessings. I’m the one stuck in a pattern of negativity. I’ve realized that busyness is excellent at stealing joy and makes it a challenge to have a grateful heart. This holiday season will be our last one with Big Kid living at home before he graduates and launches into adulthood. (Yikes, it hurt just typing that!) I want this Thanksgiving and Christmas to be particularly special, meaningful, memorable. I want to soak in every moment with our precious family of four (five, counting our crazy pup) still all under one roof.
So I am purposing to slow down and create margin for this. Instead of running around and doing all the things, I will talk with our family about what activities and traditions matter most to them and prioritize those. And I’m going to do the hard work of finding people, things, and moments to be grateful for. Of seeing this season through fresh eyes and recounting the good surrounding me. I love this quote about gratitude from Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.
Note how he encourages us to be grateful for all the things that have led us to where we are, not just the good things. While I find Emerson’s quote beautiful, it reminds me of another wise man, the apostle Paul, who gave us the same advice centuries prior.
“…giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ…” ~Ephesians 5:20
“…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Paul exhorts us to be “abounding in thanksgiving.” ~ Colossians 2:7
Once we set our minds to focus on gratitude, it’s fairly easy to be thankful for the good things. But to be grateful for the struggles and the challenges, that’s a different beast altogether. It hurts to revisit painful experiences or tough valleys we’ve lived through, but so often on the other side of it, we can see God’s hand in it and growth or blessing that came from it. Every step along our journeys – the good, bad, and ugly – bring us exactly to where we are now.
It reminds me of the beautiful song, Blessings, by Laura Story, in which she asks what if God’s blessings come through hardships, not just good things. So during this season of thanksgiving, I am committing to remember and be grateful for the ups and downs of the journey I’m on. Won’t you join me?
Does gratitude come easy for you or do you find it difficult, and why? What are you thankful for this holiday season?